All I ever wanted was to be at your service...

Our numbers have dwindled significantly in recent days.

Debra Morgan and Jean Havoc have run off together, presumably to Vegas.
Dexter Morgan is in pursuit.
Roy Mustang and Edward Elric have eloped, and kindly sent us a photo from the ceremony.

Brandon Heat has taken a higher-paying teaching opportunity elsewhere.
Nellie Lovett handed in her retirement notice shortly before falling into an oven.
Anthony DiNozzo has been summoned to return to his boss.
Hatsuharu Sohma was made into a cheeseburger.
Apollo Justice seems to have run away in terror when the Darkness came.
Franziska von Karma left, dragging Maya Fey with her to eat the burger formerly known as a Sohma.


I do hope we get more victims students soon.

With Love,
Sebastian Michaelis

The school being overrun by monsters and darkness is not an excuse to miss class. The only acceptable excuse for absence is your death, and I will require at least two days' notice.
All others will be punished to the best of my ability.

Cross, the samples you have requested can now be found in the hall outside your apartment.
ALL of them.

And Ciel, I love your paws~.

I'm afraid I don't know why so many of you have cat ears, but I'm not complaining. You all look quite delicious.

In other news: if you want samples of the food before Mrs. Lovett cleans the cafeteria, Cross, you'll have to collect them yourself. <3

So, regretfully, I had to release the lion back into the wild. So if you see a rather large feline prowling the campus, you know why.

In other news, it appears that we still have some time before classes start, and I still don't know many of you. To remedy this situation, I propose a school-wide meal in a formal setting. Any objections?

There seems to be quite the epidemic of items going missing around here lately.
I hope we haven't got a thief~.

And before I even unpack, I have been informed that I am to fill out some paperwork.
It makes sense, I suppose, what kind of professor would I be if I could just waltz in unknown and unannounced?

Well, here it goes.